Me and My Drank

Upon listening to the No Ceilings mixtape I have found out that Lil Wayne has decided to bury his much noted Styrofoam cup. And he says we will now never know what he is on.......*tear*

"Here is to you CUP! We are gonna miss you and all your brothers and sisters!!!!!!!"

I'm Just Saying

Decided to devote this blog to every nigga's favorite past time these days.



If you are like most teenagers across the country you have heard the lyrics of Plies, Trey Songz, and Lil Wayne who boast about their eating talents. Personally, I have no problem with these MEN telling what they are talented at because I do not doubt their credibility. However it is songs like the ones below that test my patience :

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6G5J4qqpfk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cErON9K0ONM&feature=related

I have no problem with boys being a man about it thats for damn sure. Hell I think it could be beneficial. However, when the message in songs like the one above become repetitive and start showing up everywhere (esp. in Jerk Music); I start to doubt the credibility of these young men who are no more than nineteen.

At school I constanly see boys walking around my school talking about how fucked this girl and that girl and what they did last night. When the reality is, many of them were cozy at home with their bottle of Jergens watching Nicki Minaj on youtube, nutting all in their palms by the movement of her lips (yeah I said it) . However, the lying they do is no different than every high school boys conversation for the past 50 years.

"I eat pussy. I have no problem saying that....shit I I eat the fuck out of pussy..." B says.

"I can eat pussy for hours, my tongue never gets tired." Another boy mentions.

"I'm a virgin but I eat pussy though..." Another boy mentions.

Hmmm. These statements were said to me by a few peers of mine who boast about there pussy eating tactics. Nigga let me just say this:

EATING PUSSY AND EATING PUSSY GOOD ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!!!!!

So don't go shouting that message out like it will automatically get me to spread my legs. Oh no....your gonna have to come a litte harder than that. (No pun intended)

The problem with these niggas today is that they think that eating pussy is as easy as licking the cream filling out of an Oreo. Just like oral sex on a man, oral sex on a girl is just as complex. There are certain techniques and strokes that feel better than others. You can't just stick your face down there and think that will be enough to get the job done. Hell naw!

Personally I get frustrated if a nigga wants to eat pussy and doesn't know what the fuck he is doing. The worst niggas are the ones who lick too fucking hard or be drooling all in my shit as they sit there and lick in the same spot. *gag* I had to kick one in the face mid-preformance.
(Yes that nigga was that damn horrible)Or they "think" they find my clit and be licking my fuckin hood like retarded. Like nigga are you serious right now?

NOt only is the unexperienced head game of these boys just sad. Its the fact that they are so open all of a sudden about eating pussy. I though girls had the problem with following trends, but niggas are worse. Roughly a year ago, it was rare for niggas to talk openly (esp. in school) about eating a girl out. That was something considered fuckin nasty or something you kept to yourself. All of a sudden its like the best pick up line to a girl to say that they eat pussy. I don't get it? In a year, when another rapper comes out and says he likes to suck girls toes or something, or a popular song talks about sucking some girls corns are these niggas gonna be walking down the hallway boasting about toe sucking abilities. I mean really? Niggas are you serious with this shit?

On the plus side ladies, just like niggas think its funny to tell their friends about how they got they swipe sucked by some random chick. I call dibs on being the first girl at my school to say this :

"You know ______ gave me head last night right?"

Learn your anatomy boys before you stick your face down there is all I'm saying. Step your pussy eating game up if its something you wanna brag about.

P.S If you go to King Drew...I know a couple of ya'll niggas whose credibilty on pussy eating is a little shaky.....ha!

Nigga Say What?

So today I received an AIM from an ex of mine who decided that he wanted to rekindle our flame now that I have moved back to Los Angeles. (yawn) Yeah, this is one of the many niggas who pretended like they had lost their awareness of who I was after I left Los Angeles city limits, and now that they got wind that I'm back in L.A they suddenly wanna "kick it"

*right, if "kicking it" means sticking 5 inches of immature dick in my vagina, I'll pass. Thanks. =)


To make a long story short I still keep in touch with this nigga despite extreme opposition from that of my girls. But I can't help it, at the end of the day its entertaining for me to watch niggas who simp from time to time.

Here Comes the Problem.....



Him: So I was wondering when I could see you.

Me : Uhhh...whenever

Him: Cause I'm really trying to spend some time with you. So when you tryna kick it?

Me: Whenever I guess...


*Pause Readers! Ignore the fact that I'm leading this nigga on thinking that I actually want to spend time with his ass. Its wrong on my behalf but I feel like its a dose of his own medicine.



Him: Can you come see me now?


Me: I live with my grandmother right now and its nine o'clock at night...

Him: And that's supposed to mean?

Me: That its too late for me to be going to see anyone. Besides that my grandmother from the old school she don't play that.

Him: Man you can't sneak out?



*gasp* Pause Again Readers!!

Now first of all my elders always told me to find a good man or boy in this case who would respect me no matter the circumstance. Although this may not seem conventional in the latter 2009, the point of the matter is that there are still boundaries. How the hell you gonna ask me to sneak out? First off If I really want to sneak out and see you shouldn't I be the one to make that suggestion or offer it to you?

Hmmmmm


Me : ...... No.

Him: Well can't you ditch school and kick it with me? I mean just pretend like you gonna go to school when you get dropped off and then catch the bus to my house.


*Oh hell no! P.A.R! There are two major things wrong with this part of the IM.

First off, I am back on that respect concept. I don't even have to give you my academic G.P.A ( *cough* 3.59 ) to justify the fact that he is way out of line for asking me to ditch school. Nigga not only are jeopardizing my life but if you were really concerned about the longevity of our relationship (which i can tell from your actions that your not) then you would realize that if I ditch school I'm not going to be able to go nowhere!

Secondly, I'm not a back burner bitch. Who you asking to get on the damn bus? You wanna come see me so bad you hop YOUR ass on the bus!

*sigh*



Me : Naw I don't think thats a good idea....

Him: Man see you don't ever make an effort to see me. I get it, if it was that other nigga you would make the the effort. I mean damn all I was doing was thinking about you when you was in Louisiana. I thought that me and you could be together when you came back out here but you playing games.



*Ladies!!! Gentlemen if you have decided to read at this point! Pause Again!

Now I'm not gonna even touch on the fact that this nigga was not even tryna return the few "Hellos" I did send by IM to him when I was away. I would like to rather discuss this whole term of "effort"

Effort. Right. Clearly it means busting my ass to see you when I know you wouldn't do the same. Right? Clearly effort means putting my life on hold to sneak out or talk to you on the phone or ditch school JUST FOR YOU. If this is your idea of effort then nigga you got the word effort confused with selfish. I mean damn have you heard of weekends? You put forth some EFFORT (true meaning now) and go get some advice on the boundaries of a teenage girl. I am one of the select girls my age whose parents are actually INVOLVED in my life so that means I can't cut loose like them other ho's you been chasing. If that's what you want, then go find that same ho who did that for you.

And fella's its not just him. He is not the only one who has exhibited this behavior. I don't know when it became acceptable for women to jump through hurdles for basic ass niggas (Well any nigga)but I'm jabbing it in the throat right now. It's just not happening. So next time a nigga ask you to do something outrageous or just plain damn stupid and clearly a dick-lead plan ( coming soon in another blog) you tell him this :


You: Effort is not the equivalent of selfishness.

Him: What you mean

You: (repeat if necessary)

Him : ....


You: Nigga Say What?


*wink*



And at this point in the IM I hit that tiny X.